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"Dear Orbitz Customer, Thank you for contacting Orbitz. In reviewing our contact history, I show that this is your first correspondence via e-mail and phone under the e-mail address 'david@david-sims.com'. It is possible that you may have corresponded using another e-mail address."

Well, bull, seeing as how I had sent that e-mail using the exact same system we'd used to send the first three. CRM Rule #1: Lying to your customers isn't a good move.
"In reviewing our reservation system, I show that the online seat assignment for the flight segment 'Istanbul to Milan' on Alitalia 707 and flight segment 'Milan to Istanbul' on Alitalia 706  has been restricted by the airlines."

Gee, thanks for telling us that when we tried to use your system for getting seat assignments on the site. And for not telling us that the first three times we asked.
"Please note that most airlines hold some seats for airport check-in only. However, you can be assured that you will always get your seat assignment at the gate or check-in counter on the day of departure.

Sorry, but seeing that Orbitz is perfectly willing to lie to me I don't take much faith in their reassurances that if I just trust them I'll get my seat assignments. I wrote back saying they were damn lucky my wife wasted a day doing their legwork for them, and that the seat assignment confirmations were easily enough obtained from Delta since she had just gotten them, and their aside that our seats were probably just being held for airport check-in only was sheer misdirection. See CRM Rule #1 above.

Then we got another e-mail from them saying they had, for reasons known only to God, reassigned the seats we'd chosen -- which were confirmed by the airline and weren't ever disputed -- on the Boston-Washington leg. We hadn't asked them to do that, it was never the problem. But I guess they have to punish mouthy customers somehow.

They wrote "also, Alitalia Airlines does not have online seat selection capabilities. This means that only the airline is able to assign these seats. We are also unable to view the seat map of the flight type… the airline will be assigning you these seats and you will see your seat assignments at the airport on the date of departure."

Well, look, stupid, Alitalia isn't operating the flights in question, that's why my wife went to the DELTA office, wasting time doing the work we had paid you to do, where she picked up the confirmations you claimed didn't exist.

So there's your CRM case study: How to Insult, Irritate, Patronize, Stress And Lose Customers, by Orbitz. Honestly. It makes me quiver that I ever entrusted my travel to them in the first place.

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