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e to be a waste of time, effort, and resources.

Mediation makes sense where the law cannot provide the remedy you want i.e. you want to end a problem, not a relationship, your dispute is no one else’s business and you want to keep it that way. Mediation may not be your choice if you want to vindicate your rights or to set a legal precedent, you want to go for the jackpot, other party refuses to mediate and if the dispute involves a serious crime (Lovenheim, 2004).

The Mediation Process

The mediator is the manager of the mediation process. The disputing parties are in charge of the content that they bring to that process. The mediator who is in charge of the process helps them work through the process by asking parties to be creative and expand their view and thinking about what the conflict so that they can find a way to work through it. The mediator also facilitates the parties by asking questions to help them develop other attitudes and ways of thinking about what they are dealing with so that they can find a good outcome for themselves. The mediator is not a passive facilitator but a person stirring people to get them to focus on what they need to do to move forward. Rather than rush the parties to find a solution or ‘thoughtless outcome’ the mediator needs to help them to bring everything to the process, put it all out and then begin to look at what can be done to enable a ‘wise outcome’.

The mediation process or the “anatomy” of that process (Beer, 1997) can take many different forms and may be structured in the following stages or variations of these:

Preparing

Opening

Exploring

Negotiating

Concluding

(Source: www.mata.org.uk )

The Preparing Phase includes preparations prior to the mediation day. Arrangements such as the date, venue, attendees, documentation exchange and the mediator’s fee need to be attended to. There may also be a pre-mediation with other professionals (legal, employer etc.)

or with the disputing parties direct. The mediator may get a feel of the personalities, needs of the parties and what settlement discussions may already have taken place.

The Opening Phase will commence once the mediator has been appointed and he/she will convene a meeting with the parties. The meeting will typically begin with introductions. The mediator will outline the process, set the tone for the process and hopefully create a positive

resolution-finding approach with the parties. A key element will be to establish and maintain trust and confidence in the process, rapport between the parties, negotiate and establish ground rules. The ground rules might include speaking in turn, without interruption, civility and respect. Mediation is more than an opening statement by parties followed by a negotiation. The steps involved in a mediation attempt to minimise the advocacy and posturing between parties that typically occur in negotiations. ‘During mediation, advocacy of one’s position must ultimately give way to a more objective evaluation of the conflict to arrive at a mutually agreed solution’. (IBEC, 2006)

The Exploring Phase will involve each party telling their respective stories of their perspective of the dispute preferably without interruption. Parties will present:

A version of the events that led