own emotions and those of their loved one. John Gottman believes, “They can see value in their children’s negative emotions; they have more patience when their children are angry, sad, or fearful.”(P40). Authoritative parents are concerned about their kids. They seem to be willing to spend time with a crying or fretful child,
listening to their worries, empathizing with them, letting them went their anger, or just cry it out. They are responsible parents.
Authoritative parents provide a warm and friendly family climate. There is good communication between parents and children in authoritative family. Good communication helps children and parents to develop confidence, feelings of self-worth, and good relationships with others. One of our most important responsibilities as parents is to listen to our children, hearing not only their words, but also the feelings behind their words. When parents talk to the children, they must show great respect for their children’s feelings. They must feel what their children are feeling. Ginott believed: “Statements of understanding should precede statements of advice”(P44). He discouraged parents from telling children what they ought to feel, because that simply makes children distrust their feelings. He said kid’s emotions do not disappear when parents say, “Don’t feel that way,” He believed that while not all behavior is acceptable, all feelings and wishes are acceptable. Therefore, parents should set limits on acts, but not e英语论文网 【http://www.51lunwen.org】motions and desires, because communication about emotions can serve as a way for parents to teach their children values.
Authoritative parents also expect mature, promote independence and appropriate behavior of children. They teach children to calm down and focus attention. When they calm down, they can concentrate in finding ways to solve the problems. Psychologists say people are very easy to lose control when they get mad, so it is very easy to do wrong thing. For example, my son is ten years old. He is very easy to get mad or excited. When he gets mad, I don’t blame him. I know I have to calm down so that I can teach him to do so. I always tell him slowly and tenderly: “Can you tell me what’s going on? Maybe I can help you. Don’t worry. Mum is
here with you. Let me help you to find a good way.” Sometimes I teach him to do some exercise to relax. I teach him to do deep breath when he is mad. After deep and slow inhalation and breathing for five to six times, he feels peaceful and relaxes. It really works. Learning to calm down and focus attention become increasingly important as the children mature. Learning to be calm also helps the child to concentrate in learning situations and to focus on the achievement of specific tasks. And, as a child grows, it’s extremely helpful for learning how to share toys. This skill can make a big difference in a child’s ability to enter new playgroups, make new friends, and handle rejection when peers turn away.
Althoug
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