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作为一名全情投入的聆听者，就是给另一个人我们全部的注意力和关注。要把这个做得很好，你就需要接受新观点，以一种热情温暖而又真心的方式，不带任何评价和期待，并且能够将自己的需求和思考放置到一边。然而我们却时常以一种相反的方式被教育着：主动的，独立的，自信的，开放的。正因为如此，很多人将倾听等同于服从和缺乏决定。我们都生存在多感官媒体世界，指引着我们停留在自己的世界里，以自己为中心建立与他人的联系。我们如今的沟通变得十分便捷，使用电子邮件或者短信是对以往生活方式的一种替代，根本不需要人的面对面存在。

我们可以以更加真诚的方式去学习与倾听。海波尔韦弗曾说，“正如这一部分所介绍的一样，倾听他人的感受，不仅仅是给出情感支持，也是一种与他人建立起亲密感的方法。”我们要做的第一件事就是辨别情绪。“首先，请听听他人真正在说些什么。”

Being an empathic listener is giving another human being our absolute attention is a supreme gift. To be able to do this well, you have to be able to be accept new ideas, without judgment or expectation and be able to put aside our own needs and concerns and be genuinely available in a warm , heartfelt manner. Yet we live in a culture that teaches and rewards us for being just the opposite: proactive, independent, self-confident and open-minded. As a result, many people equate listening with obedience and lack of determination. We live in a multi-sensory media world that invites us to be in a world of your own with personal connection with others. The communication we have today is lighting fast, with the use of e-mail or instant message (texting) is a poor replacement for live, unconditional human presence.

We can learned and listen in genuinely emphatic way. Hybel &Weaver ,'Listening to other people's feelings, as noted in the introduction to this section, is not just a way of giving emotional support, but it is a way of creating intimacy with others as well.' (p95). The first thing we need to learn is to identify the emotions. Hybel &Weaver, 'First, listen to what the person is really saying.' (p96).Listen to the story this is an 'another part of an empathic response is to listen attentively' (Hybel &Weaver, 2007, pg96). When you let someone talk though there, entire problems it is best not to at this point make any judgments but to offer your support. At this point, it would be good at this point to reach the point though paraphrasing this way you can restated the person thoughts in your own words. Hybel &Weaver, 'A paraphrase response provides a mirror for the other person's remarks'.

Hybel & Weaver, 'Finally, let the person work out the problem. Sometimes just listening and letting people explain what is upsetting them' (pg97). The most important part of this stage that you do not [at this point] have to solve the problem (p97). The techniques for empathic listening is avoiding interrupting, judgment remarks, verbalize your interpretation and reinterpretation.

'Listening is one of the most important skills you can have' (thetreeofliberty). How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others. Clearly, listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. By becoming a better listener, you will improve your productivity, as well as your ability to influence, persuade negotiate. What's more, you'll avoid conflict and misunderstandings - all necessary for workplace success.'(mindtool);(thetreeofliberty) .

Active listening, Hybel &Weaver, 'we will devote most of our time to it' (pg93). We use active listening 'to obtain direction, understand others, love problems, and share interests' (p93). 'A better way to become a better listener is to practice to be a better listener.'(thetreeof liberty) This is where you make an effort to hear what one saying, but the words they are saying is most important