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非英文母语者常见写作错误之五：缺乏逻辑架构
Common writing errors by non-native speakers of English

Today’s post is about how non-native English speakers can learn to write in a way that ensures their sentences—and therefore their ideas—flow from one to the next. For ESL writers this means paying attention to the logical progression of their ideas, being clear with the topic of each paragraph, and pruning away unnecessary and confusing information to leave behind a clear, logical sequence of ideas for the reader to enjoy. To get a better understanding what we are talking about, let’s take a look at this example written in Chinese:
本次主题是关于英语非母语人士学习如何写出能流畅地表达想法的句子，以支撑文章的前后脉络。这意味著作者的思考逻辑必须明确，对于每个段落的主题都能十足掌握，并适度删除不必要与令人困惑的信息，如此一来读者才能尽情享受阅读。为了让各位更加明白本次主题，我们先来检视以下由华人写出的例句：

在红霞台风过后，台湾全省各地有许多小区公园，不仅落叶满地，树木倒塌的情况也相当严重，像台南市东区旁的巴克礼公园，风灾过后树木断裂严重，当地志工主动联络里长，志工们不论男女老少共动员了超过60人，群起响应清扫家园行动，志工的热心帮忙也得到里长赠与感谢状表达谢忱。

Now first let’s be clear: The paragraph works in the language in which it was written by communicating its ideas in a clear, readable fashion; however, if we were to translate the report into English and break it down into its composite parts in the order that they were written, we would get something like this:
首先让我们声明一点，上述文章段落在中文的呈现上是清楚且易读的。然而，如果我们将其翻译成英文并拆解顺序，则很有可能写出下列句子：

1) Typhoon brings damage to many parks in Taiwan
台风重创台湾许多公园
2) Typhoon brings damage to Barclay Memorial Park in Tainan
台风重创台南的巴克礼公园
3) Volunteers contact the local borough head
志工联络里长
4) Volunteers clean up park
志工清扫公园
5) Volunteers awarded certificate of appreciation
志工得到感谢状

Looking at these five parts, one can point out some potential problems such as: repetition of similar ideas/events (1&2), or the inclusion of ideas/events tangent to main topic (1&3). Finally, we discover that the topic of paragraph, its raison d’être, is not clear. Where does the main emphasis of the paragraph lie? Is it damage to parks in Taiwan? Damage to the park in Tainan? The volunteers’ cooperation with the borough?
看看这五个句子，可以指出一些潜在问题，如：重复的概念与事件 (第一与第二句)；或是概念与事件偏离主题太远 (第一与第三句)；最后，我们还发现段落主题不够明确。该段所强调的重点为何？是台风重创台湾许多公园？还是台风重创台南的巴克礼公园？抑或是志工与当地政府的合作？

Of course, one could argue that since we have only extrapolated the bare-bones meaning of each section of the paragraph, repetition and vagueness are bound to be the result and such problems would invariably be corrected in a more accurate and flowing translation. However, as we see below in this translation by a non-native speaker, this is not the case:
当然，有些人会质疑我们只推断几个段落，如此重复又含义不清的翻译势必需要更为精准与流畅的修正。然而，让我们再看看以下由英语非母语人士翻译出来的句子，便能得出差异。

In the aftermath of Typhoon Noul, downed trees and broken branches were seen in many parks throughout Taiwan, including Barclay Memorial Park in East District of Tainan City. To help clean up their community, local volunteers contacted the East District Supervisor and mobilized to clean up Barclay Memorial Park. To thank the volunteers for their efforts, the East District Supervisor awarded these volunteers with a Certificate of Appreciation.
在红霞台风过后，台湾全省各地有许多小区公园，不仅落叶满地，树木倒塌的情况也相当严重，像台南市东区旁的巴克礼公园，风灾过后树木断裂严重，当地志工主动联络里长，志工们不论男女老少共动员了超过60人，群起响应清扫家园行动，志工的热心帮忙也得到里长赠与感谢状表达谢忱。

While one could argue