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ons not only about the world around me but questions aboutmyself as a human being, is my moral compass true and just? Or does an era aperson lives in determine what they perceive to be right and wrong and why? Forme this is a journey of self-discovery, analysing myself, what I am and how Ihave come to be the way I am is just as important to me as understanding theworld around me. 　　

I believe that stimulating the body is just as important as stimulating the mindso next year I will be taking part in the Virgin London Marathon on behalf ofthe World Wide Fund for Nature. I am also fairly well travelled and lived inAustralia for 2 years, I also did charity work in Bolivia and have visitedPeru, Thailand and Laos amongst others. Leonardo Da Vinci was once asked whatthe key to his genius was; his reply was simple “SapereVedere” which translates as ‘Knowinghow to see’. For me understanding the mind andcombining this with the basic principles of what it is to be aware, to behuman, our interactions and what we think to be right and wrong is so important. 　　

点评： 　　

1. 首句为引用，引用需谨慎，要能帮助说明问题; 　　

2. 谈《亚里士多德伦理学》、古希腊哲学对自己的影响，与哲学产生联系，具体且具说服力 　　3. 核心词“curiosity”，全文都围绕这一主题词展开; 　　

4. 谈学习内容，显示对哲学的热爱和较全面的学识素养; 　　

5. 最后一段话谈身体与大脑的关系，自然引到课外活动和兴趣爱好上来。 　　

6. 建议多谈实例，少概括和总结。 　　

 

范文二： 　　

专业：历史学 　　

Offer：英国伦敦大学学院 卡迪夫大学 伯明翰大学 　　

评分：五星 　　

Mydecision to study history was never a difficult one. Having always beencaptivated by the past and its relationship to the present, study at AdvancedLevel has served only to strengthen my interest. Last year I especially enjoyedreading Gash's biography of Robert Peel. In comparing his approach to historywith that of other historians, I found myself profoundly interested in Gash'sconviction that Peel was an individual who shaped not only his time, but therest of the century. Seeking to read more widely than the syllabus allowed,Christopher Hill's 'God's Englishman' provided me with a historical perspectivewhich, although very different, appealed to me perhaps as much as Gash's.Indeed, the comparison between interpretations is one of the most excitingparts of the study of history; but far from being persuaded by a singleperspective, I strive to understand and appreciate the differences. Also ofparticular appeal to me was reading Hague's biography of Pitt the Younger.Although not a professional historian, Hague's expertise in today's politicsand the politics of previous centuries helped me to bridge the gap between thetwo. 　　

The world of ideas also fascinates me, which began with my reading aboutMarxism after studying Russian history. With the help of my school's'Intellectual Development Extending Able Students' program I exp本论文由英语论文网提供整理，提供论文代写，英语论文代写，代写论文，代写英语论文，代写留学生论文，代写英文论文，留学生论文代写相关核心关键词搜索。