western family education differs from china's in many aspects. From instance, Some time ago, there was a program from“Shi hua Shi shuo” of CCTV about family education. A South Korean youth, named Shen **, and his mother were invited to the scene of the program, talking about his life in America. During the talk, we know, his parents sent him to an American military academy to study. There were many “the question students” in that school. Mr. Shen said that when he just arrived there, he was looked down upon and beaten frequently with no reasons by strangers. Therefore, he and his schoolmates fought with each other frequently, the fiercest of all was that his bridge of the nose was broken 13 Times. The Chinese audience present all felt astonished, some one asked his mother, “Why did you send the child to such a school to study?” His mother said, the child had to be tempered.
Of course, when the child is growing, fight is inevitable. The Chinese and the foreign families’ attitude towards it is entirely different. If the child fight, Chinese parents will stop it at once, because the Chinese family and the Chinese education think that “a good child will not fight”. If the parents see that their own child is beaten, or injured. At the scene of fighting, the child's parents will take part in the “war” involuntary. Because, the parents educate the child “the tolerance has the limitation”, “fight with others, if he fails in fighting he will lose the dignity, it is a kind of incompetent performance, showing he won't have a foothold in the society in the future?” Afterwards, the parents, whose child was beaten, often go to the school to have it out and ask the teacher to punish the child who beats their child. However, the parents, whose child beats others or you can say, wins others, are often pleased and praise the child secretly at home, because his child had not suffered a loss, some parents instigated the child to the action openly like this. Most of Chinese parents fear their own child will suffer losses, and also fear hurting others. However some parents like Mr. Shen’s parents, they knew obviously that the school is “a fiery pit”, and still sent the child there, letting the child get beaten. It is simply inconceivable.[ “Mother's Management Art”, Sunqing, Chongqing Publishing House, May 1st,2005, P32]
When American parents see the child fight, they will stand by. My younger uncle works in US. His child once came under attack, he said to the child: “Came under attack? Hit him!” Once my younger uncle returned to visit the family, and mentioned the matter about the child's fights, he said: “You should educate the child like this: “Who hits you, you will hit him.” “Can you instigate the child to mass fighting? Absolutely, that won’t do!” I expressed the intense opposition.
When the child is fighting, the Western teacher will also stand by, observing carefully and they do not stop usually unless there is the danger. Afterwards, they will talk with students, and analyse the gains and losses of fighting. If the student fight, so long as he reports to the teacher afterwards, this is OK, if not, even if he comes under attack, and is reasonable, he will also receive teacher's criticism and the penalty.
About fight, Chinese parents and teachers are act as “ pacificator”, “judge”, American parents and the teachers are act as “teacher”. The thought of dealing with fightst in Chinese families, is based on the Confucianist ide
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