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I’m not ambitious or intelligent or well educated… All I want is a husband, children, my own home. And a bit of love from someone!”(McCullough 1992) But the real life in her marriage with Luke makes Meggie realizes that Luke is a money-grabber, and she could not get a bit of love and a family of her own home from Luke. They have married for all the wrong reasons: he for her money, she as an escape from Ralph de Bricassart while trying to retain Ralph de Bricassart. Meggie does not love Luke and just wantes a baby alike Ralph. “After getting a baby of Ralph, Meggie’s no hesitation in leaving Luke pictures her obscure self-awareness.” （Liu 2004）
3.3.3Brave Meggie
Meggie faces the pain bravely on the way pursuing what she wanted and never had a moment’s regret. She once said, “I did it all to myself, I have no one else to blame. And I cannot regret one single moment of it… when we put the thorns in our breasts, we know. We understand. And still we do it. Still we do it.”(McCullough 1992) She means that, everyone, singing his own little song, convinced it’s the most wonderful song the world has ever heard. We create our own thorns, and never stop to count the cost. All we can do is suffer the pain, and tell ourselves it is well worth it.
In the beginning, Meggie boils her misfortune down to Ralph. With the maturity of her cognition, she realizes that it is God and the church that bans her love. And she has conquered the fear of God’s punishment. He can not frighten her the way He used to. All her life she has trodden the straight and narrow, from fear of Him. And she gets not one scrap more than if she had broken every rule in His book. She thinks that the utmost Enemy of women is God! Now, Meggie has thoroughly defeated the fear for religion and realizes that only had her herself defeated God, she might rule Ralph’s spirit world. “Meggie, who never surrender under fate, finally yelled out ‘I’ll beat God yet’, and this is the vivid display of her self-awareness.” （Liu 2004）But when God summons Dane to His presence. She thinks it is impossible to defeat God temporarily. There is never a woman born who could beat God, because He’s a Man.
Before Meggie is married, she couldn’t believe Fee has loved a man who can’t marry her, for in books only the lowest, cheapest girls has babies outside of marriage. If it happened to her, Meggie thinks, she would like to die. Now Meggie herself gets the part of Ralph the Church can never have. This is a far more serious sin than divorce and having baby outside marriage. She does not consider it as a sin; on the contrary, she thinks finally there’s a purpose to her life after all!
When Ralph dies in Meggie’s arm, he tried to say, forgive me, and saw she had forgiven him long ago. The fact that Ralph begs forgiveness of Meggie reveals that in Ralph’s innermost being, he loves Meggie more than he loves his God. In this aspect, Meggie finally defeats God and wins the battle in the spirit, though her lover and her son are both summoned by God. Meggie wins the battle against God in some extent mentioning she stolen Ralph’s son from God and Ralph begged her forgiveness before death.
Meggie gets what she wanted in the end at the cost of the death of her lover and her son and had singed her wonderful song. “Meggie’s love towards Ralph is not allowed by the society, thus her pursue represents women’s will to break away from kinds of imposed bondages towards women by men, to obt