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hat medical schools do value.  You lay out your case for admission in a straightforward manner, and give some examples to back up your statements.  You should be proud of your progress thus far.
There was some work to be done, however.  Some of your sentences included fragments of other sentences, and a few were run-ons; these were re-worked to provide a better sentence flow.  Your isolated spelling and punctuation errors were also corrected.  On the larger scale, we focused your essay in two ways: by cutting some unnecessary or redundant sentences, and by adopting a clearer overall structure.  As written, your essay included sentences that didn't add much power to your essay, and were very general or vague in meaning.  For example, we cut the sentence, "I believe that in order to be a 'complete' physician, one must be strongly motivated by both his mind and his heart."  This sentiment is echoed more clearly in the rest of the work, and your references to the mind and the heart are better expressed when you discuss "the physical and emotional needs of the patient."  The structure we created goes roughly like this: introduction discussing the genesis of your career ambitions, discussion of the emotional requirements of medicine, discussion of the intellectual issues involved, and a conclusion citing your dedication to medicine and to the study required of students in medical school.
We also specifically edited your language to better prepare the essay to be read by a committee on admissions.  In some areas, your wording seemed "overheated."  For example, you twice used the phrase, "overwhelming desire."  Although you clearly want to impress the committee with your desire to study medicine, you run the risk of "overwhelming" them in the process.  When you write, "As I finished High School and entered college, and now Graduate School, every decision I have made has been centered around one goal…" the essay runs the risk of coming on too strong.  Your goal should be to present yourself as a serious and committed applicant, while avoiding a "rabid" tone.
The edited essay reads quite well, but there is still something missing - you.  The essay is called the AMCAS Personal Statement for a reason: it's time to get personal.  Schools will read this essay to get an idea of who you are, not what you have done.  Your accomplishments are enumerated elsewhere in the AMCAS application.  You ought to include more stories, more specifics about who you are, and about the people and events that have made you the person you feel you have become.  For example, details about how you specifically helped your siblings would be great, as would a story about an elderly person whose life you improved.
A final note - your primary goal in filling out your applications should be to get an interview, not to convince an admissions committee that you're worthy of admission.  You want to make them want to get to know you better, and to want to meet you in person.  Keep this point in mind as you continue in the application process. 

Edited Essay:
EssayEdge significantly improves each essay using the same voice as the author. The only way to evaluate editing is to compare the original essay with the edited version. We significantly improve essays both for clients who write poorly and for clients who write exceptionally well.
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